Friday, December 11, 2009

I Am Not Even Sure Where to Begin

Emotional eater?  That's a T.  I never realized this before starting to stay home with my daughter almost three years ago.  Before that I was always working and therefore, during the day, had a very regimented schedule with breaks, lunch hours, etc.  Since I rarely ate out, I was preparing my lunch the night before, etc and prepared relatively healthy items, and I just did not really have the time to emotionally eat at work.  So, since being home with my daughter and having a less rigid schedule and free reign with food, I have come to realize the truth - that my major, major issue is emotionally eating.  I eat when I am happy, sad, bored, stressed, angry - you name it.  The worst though is most definitely when I am stressed for any reason.  I most certainly find comfort in food and especially carbs and/or sweets. Now, what do I do with this exactly?  That is what I am desperately trying to figure out.  I had the idea recently to come up with a list of things that I could do when I feel the desire to emotionally eat - things to do that would occupy my time until the temptation passed, etc.  The problem is that being a mom of an almost 3 year old, finding time to do a "hobby" is kind of difficult, but that is the one thing that I figured would really work.  So, I know there has to be something I can do to occupy my time - something I enjoy.  I just need to figure it out.  So, that needs to be my goal.  Uh oh, I just wrote it on a blog for all to read so I guess I best be getting on that, huh?  :D

Well, that brings me to the fact that this past little bit has been a whee bit stressful, and yes, I have drowned my sorrows and issues in food.  Ugh!!  My husband, Hannah and I drove from Chicago to Virginia last week to visit my family.  My husband had to drive back a couple of days ago to get back to work.  My daughter and I will be flying back next week.  My parents, who are currently living in Italy for work, came in for a visit for the holidays which is what brought us here.  My sister, brother in law and niece all live here in Virginia.  My daughter will be 3 years old in February, and her cousin, my niece, will be 2 years old in March so they are almost a full year apart in age.  The stress I have been dealing with has been the fact that my daughter acts out a lot while here because she sees my niece being babied a lot and given tons of attention.  It breaks my heart for my little girl if you can understand that.  I don't want her to think for one second that she plays second fiddle to anyone.  I want her to feel so loved and comfortable in her own skin.  I just wish I could protect her little feelings forever and ever.  I know what she is doing is totally normal and age appropriate, etc, but I stress because I feel like maybe my family (though I am sure they don't) thinks she is being "bad" or they get annoyed with her, etc.  She regresses while she is here, copies the younger niece by whining and crying because she sees the younger one getting the attention for it so she figures she will try it, too.  Problem is that no one finds that okay since she is a year older.  It is just rather heart breaking really.  I know she is loved to pieces.  My stress is dealing with all the time outs, etc that have to go on because she is acting out, etc and also the stress of knowing that somehow she feels a bit unloved or less loved which is making her act this way.  So, I am drowning my stress in food.  And again I say ugh....  

On a positive note I did realize that in just a bit over two months we will be going as a family to Disney World.  So, I realized what an amazing time to set a goal which may kickstart me back into gear.  I will figure out what that realistic goal will be and let you all know.  My daughter and I come back home on Wednesday.  We are having fun visiting with family and hopefully more fun will be had, but at the same time, I am excited to get back into our routine and enjoy the holidays in beautiful Chicago.  Also, I am excited to get my little girl back.  ;)  

One last may have heard, but if you have not....there is a boycott going on against Ralph Lauren.  Being a woman who has had self esteem/body image issues for some time and now being the mother of a precious little girl, the issue of promoting healthy body images in little girls and the definition of TRUE beauty has become my major soapbox.  Ralph Lauren has been one of the worst at distorting the definition of beauty in women and crippling millions of girls' and womens' self esteems.  Please go to the Facebook page for ATB Action Network Boycott Ralph Lauren to join the group and to learn more about this important cause.  Ralph Lauren is sold at numerous places including the CHAPS label that is super popular at Kohls.  Stop giving your hard earned money to this man until he learns what he is doing to our daughters.  Thanks for listening and standing up for TRUE beauty.  <3

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