Thursday, December 10, 2009


So I know im a day late writing but things have been a little crazy for me and by the time I got my son to sleep last night I was really tired so I went to bed. These past few days with my toddler daughter have been crazy and im just at the point where I want to cry. It all started on Monday when I went to go put my son down for a nap in her old crib which she hasnt slept in in 5 months. I put him down and she started throwing the biggest fit she has had in a long time because that was her crib and the baby couldnt sleep there. So since then she has wanted to nap and sleep in her crib. The only thing is she will fall asleep in the crib and then wake up screaming and crying to go into her toddler bed. Then the other day she managed to climb onto her dresser from the crib and she knocked over the lamp and broke it. The littlest things also seem to be setting her off and becoming a bigger issue then they really are. Like this morning she dropped a little bit of yogurt on her pj's and of coarse she started freaking out about it. Needless to say im just really tired.

As far as the weight thing goes I havent been doing as good as I would like. The stress I have been feeling lately havent been helping with my eating. The stress just triggers my mind to want to eat. I hate to say it but I feel like when im in a stressful moment the food becomes like a drug and soothes my nerves. The sad thing is healthy food doesnt help its all about eating the junk food especially candy. Growing up as a fat girl has really left me with some bad habits that I have had a hard time breaking. Giving in makes me feel like a failure. Right now that is my biggest feeling - FAILURE. I feel like a failure at being a mom right now and a really big failure at this weight thing.

On a side note I watched The Biggest Loser finale and I couldnt believe how good Danny looked. He lost 239 pound and just looked amazing. I felt really good for him. He took everything he learned and just ran with it and did an amazing job.

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