Monday, January 4, 2010

Wow, the holidays are now officially behind us, and I don't even know where they went.  I went into this holiday season thinking that I wanted it to be simple, free of unnecessary stress and just a really enjoyable, relaxing holiday season with my family.  Well, that changed really quickly and ended up totally opposite of what I was setting out for.  My husband ended up with some unexpected time off so we took an impromptu trip to Virginia to see my family.  My daughter and I were gone for almost two weeks.  By the time we got home to Illinois, it was already December 15th with only 10 days until Christmas!  :O  Then, both my daughter and myself came down with a real doozy of a cold with a horrible cough, etc.  We were finally starting to feel halfway normal come Christmas day.  Needless to say, I feel like I need a "do over" for the holidays, and needless to say, there was quite a bit of comfort food to be had around here with all that going on.  Ugh....

So, today we are at what I consider the first REAL day of the year since this is the Monday following the long New Year weekend.  I have started off the day well and plan to keep it that way.  I started off the morning eating one cup of Fiber One Caramel Delight cereal topped with a banana and fat free milk.  Oh, and of course, two cups of coffee with Splenda and Sugar Free French Vanilla creamer.  Hopefully the rest of the day will go just as well.  

My big goal right now is to do this for myself.  I have learned over the years that for whatever reason I am most successful when I try to do this on my own. That, of course, goes against what 80% of the rest of the world does.  I don't really totally understand.  It is like when I set out with others to do this and rely on them for my support, for my energy and stamina, I inevitably fall when they fall, etc not to mention that I seem to kind of sabotage myself. It is like I am so afraid of failure in front of my friends or others that I sabotage myself and don't even hardly try.  I have been successful with this before. I have lost several times on Weight Watchers - the most successful was a loss of 40 lbs in 2001/2002.  That was a time when I made up my mind on my own that I was going to do it, and I forged along on my own without anyone else doing it with me.  I was able to find my drive for myself and just go for it.  I have to do that again since that seems to be the only time I am successful.  So, that is my goal.  Let's see if I can do it.  I think I can.  I am off to a good start today, at least, right.  ;)  

Well, I am off to take my almost 3 year old to a doctor's appointment.  Let the madness begin......

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